Every week on Monday morning, The Council and our invited guests weigh in at the Watcher’s Forum, short takes on a major issue of the day, the culture, or daily living. With so much heavy serious news and world events lately we thought we would take a lighter look this week. So, this week’s question was: What Are The Things That First Attract You In Someone of the Opposite Sex?
The Independent Sentinel: They have to look good overall – demeanor is important. A sense of humor, intelligence, chivalry all come through and that matters.
Like values are important after that. Looks are very temporary and one can’t hang one’s hat on that.
I could never be Mary Matalan and listen to James Carville every night. God, country and apple pie are important to me.
Bookworm Room: Let me confess right away to being terribly shallow: I like the way men look. So, unless I’ve first met a man over the phone and fallen in love with his voice, his looks are going to be on the top of my list in terms of what attracts me to them. Having confessed to being this superficial, let me hasten to add that I’m not dreadfully picky. Since I don’t look like Claudia Schiffer, I think it’s okay if he doesn’t look like Keanu Reeves (in Speed, preferably). It is not okay, however, if the man is dirty, smelly, or ill-kempt, There are obviously exceptions to that rule (if I meet him after he’s just saved multiple people from a burning building, for example), but I do think we all owe it to ourselves and to others to appear well-groomed in ordinary circumstances.
Once I get past the visual aspect of meeting a man, I like men who don’t treat me as an audience. I like men who can laugh at themselves and who have a sense of the ridiculous. I like men who aren’t overwhelmed by the fact that I’m extremely verbal. (I do not think I will ever recover from the law school professor who, after I waved hello to my boyfriend and his friends, all of whom were sitting with the professor, turned to the table at large and said “I don’t know why, but she reminds me of a Latin teacher.” Even Sarah Palin got “naughty librarian.”
And those are the things that first attract me to someone of the opposite sex. (All of this is hypothetical, of course, since I’ve had married person’s blinders on for a long, long time.)
GrEaT sAtAn”S gIrLfRiEnD: Just one thing: sexyful – the entire package – charm, charisma, intellect, hot!, Financially secure, smashing fashion, cool ride(s) fun to be with, generous, gallant, chivalrous, cool, merciful and forgiving.
JoshuaPundit: I’ve been married a long time. But what always used to initially attract me to a woman in any serious way was something I can only call her essence. It’s the way a woman walks and talks and carries herself, the way she smiles, her eyes, her innate sexiness or sensuality, which is all attitude.Some very conventionally pretty woman simply ain’t got it,and there are very average looking women whom do, so it’s not just a matter of looks..
Secondary things? Her voice (I once dialed a wrong number and wound up going out on a wonderful blind date with a girl just on that basis) her natural perfume, her sense of humor, her intellect. Does she sparkle? Does she seem to have warmth and character? Do we click? Do I feel that wonderful little frisson d’coeur? Those were my criteria.
Ask Marion: Well… the things that first attract me to someone of the opposite sex, would depend on whether we are talking business, friendship, or dating… And yes, I do believe that men and women can be friends. But in all three categories a good personality and honesty are a must and a nice friendly smile is an immediate door opener.
In business, I’m attracted to go-getters and a no nonsense kind of guy; someone who will give me a run for my money.
As a friend I look for someone I can trust implicitly with any information or secret, whether they are guy or girlfriends.
And as a date, beau or mate I am attracted to someone who is outgoing but not over-bearing; someone who has a subtle sense of humor and someone who possess a general awareness about them. I’m a driver personality, so am always up for a good, strong discussion; some would say an argument ;-). And I prefer to be with someone who is as busy as I am… so busy that he has to squeeze me in or make time for me over someone who has a fairly empty calendar! Wow… dating, I used to love the process!
Well, there you have it.
Make sure to tune in every Monday for the Watcher’s Forum. And remember, every Wednesday, the Council has its weekly contest with the members nominating two posts each, one written by themselves and one written by someone from outside the group for consideration by the whole Council. The votes are cast by the Council, and the results are posted on Friday morning.
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