MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MY FEMALE FRIENDS (AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEM)

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Merry Christmas To My Female Friends

If I were ol’ Santa, you know what I’d do
I’d dump silly gifts that are given to you
And deliver some things just inside your front door
Things you have lost, but treasured before.

I’d give you back all your maidenly vigor,
And to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.
Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
Before rinses and bleaches took residence there.

I’d bring back the shape with which you were gifted
So things now suspended need not be uplifted.
I’d draw in your tummy and smooth down your back
Till you’d be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

I’d remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin
So you wouldn’t spend hours rubbing grease on your skin.
You’d never have flashes or queer dizzy spells,
And you wouldn’t hear noises like ringing of bells.

No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes,
No searching for spectacles when they’re right on your nose.

Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny,
From a doctor who thinks you’re a nervous old granny.
You’d never have a headache, so no pills would you take.
And no heating pad needed since your muscles won’t ache.

Yes, if I were Santa, you’d never look stupid,
You’d be a cute little chick with the romance of a cupid.
I’d give a lift to your heart when those wolves start to whistle,
And the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.

But alas! I’m not Santa. I’m simply just me,
The matronest of matrons you ever did see.
I wish I could tell you all the symptoms I’ve got,
But I’m due at my doctor’s for an estrogen shot.

Even though we’ve grown older, this wish is sincere,
Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.

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By Margaret (MargMax) – Get Well Versed

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About Ask Marion

I am a babyboomer and empty nester who savors every moment of my past and believes that it is the responsibility of each of us in my generation and Americans in general to make sure that America is as good or even a better place for future generations as it was for us. So far... we haven't done very well!! Favorite Quotes: "The first 50 years are to build and acquire; the second 50 are to leave your legacy"; "Do something that scares you every day!"; "The journey in between what you once were and who you are becoming is where the dance of life really takes place".
This entry was posted in Family and Friends, Fun, Holidays, Thoughts ..., Useless Wisdom and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MY FEMALE FRIENDS (AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEM)

  1. Margmax says:

    The poem which you quote as author unknown – Merry Christmas to my Female Friends is infact my poem written by me and on my website Margmax http://www.getwellversed.com. This has been used without my permission. Kindly either amend to quote my name and website or remove otherwise I shall be forced to inform your web provider.

    • Ask Marion says:

      As you can see, this was posted over 3-years-ago and from the appearance, it was undoubtedly an email that I posted, and no doubt just as it came to me. I actually don’t remember it. I think it was part of a merge of an old MSN blog that used to have jsut for fun and friends.
      I have been blogging for going on 10-years, have 5 blogs of my own and participate in several blogging groups. I always give credit and link back to the author if I know who it is, but as with many emails, there often is no source which was undoubtedly the case here and why it was marked as author unknown. I certainly would have been happy to give you credit, had I known.
      But I sense your unhappiness with it being posted or that you somehow feel I did this on purpose, so I will remove this post.
      I certainly didn’t mean to upset anyone and I never use people’s stuff without giving them credit.
      Sorry of any inconvenience or stress that might have caused you!

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